My relationship ABCs

It is that time of the year when one just sees red—or rather, when one has to endure the perversion of Valentine. My thoughts haven’t changed much about this supposed romantic holiday. It can well be because I haven’t been lucky in the romantic department, but who knows?!

All that I know, and can declare with some conviction, is that I have at least worked out my ABCs—Absolute Basic Cs—for being in a lasting relationship, as I wait in vain for love or romance. I will not discuss how I arrived at them, suffice to say, they resulted from some serious internal dialogue.

Anyhow, for me to consider the cost of committing, I have decided it is not a bad idea at all to vet my would-be partner against a list of five Cs (aka my ABCs). Basically, to stand a chance, the person must be a Consistent, Caring, Courteous, Conscious and Communicative being.

Getting the five Cs in one being has certainly proved to be a tall order. But as far as I am concerned, none of the Cs can be compromised, except when we are talking in the short term, where the goal is just to get a candidate through the door. In this particular case, the two Cs that count the most are Courtesy and Communication; with these two Cs, I am sure willing to throw some caution to the wind and have luck as my backup.

Love: the bind to our being

I am seeing red but I am not at all angry. Its that time of the year for Limitless Obnoxious Valentine Extravaganza!

I am not against people expressing their love to each other but (yes, there is a but!) … It has to be free from the pressures of the commercial world. And free as in no cost, because love in its pure form is a precious gift that we get but may not even deserve!

If/when you find this gift, you will also learn that love is the secret glue that binds our being. Before we find love, our sense of being is scattered like grains of sorghum. If you are not familiar with the expression of endearment involving “mabele” (sorghum), my analogy may seem strange. But don’t despair, below I offer you the expression together with how each gender may use it 😉

"Ngoana nts'oare! Ke mabele kea qhalana."

Translated: Baby hold me! I am the sorghum grain I scatter.
"Ke mabele kea qhalana. Ke hloka mothonaki".

Translated: I am the sorghum grain I scatter. I need someone to pick me up.

As you can see, there are gender nuances in the use of the expression. But as they say, men and women are from different planets. Whether or not I believe this saying, is a different story altogether. My simple point is: love is a priceless, precious gift that needs to be celebrated in different ways not just as the commercial world dictates. Love is what roots us even as the winds of change threaten to scatter us like “mabele” because in whatever form, it binds us to our being and existence!

My thoughts on valentine

A simple visit to the stores to get milk around this time of the year can make one pause for a minute to consider the true significance of valentine. Perhaps it only happens to those of us who are not yet ready to get a cat as a companion or those of us who get overwhelmed by valentine’s day marketing. Whatever the case may be, I paused and I think while the idea of celebrating valentine is good, the capitalist spin to it de-values it completely.

Valentine’s day is about celebrating love. If it is true that money can’t buy love, then it should follow that celebration of love should not involve money. Ok that might be slightly flawed but my point is money shouldn’t play much role in valentine’s celebration. So the challenge for valentine should be to celebrate the day as cheaply as possible but with meaningful gestures that show affection.

The gestures differ with each individual. For me, a cup of coffee in bed with a chocolate croissant would do the trick 😉 . I wouldn’t also mind a hand written love letter but that can wait until I meet that frog which I can turn into a prince with just one passionate kiss … (that may cause the prince to turn my frock into tatters 😆).